LET’S CHAT: Questioning and Acquiescence

…as featured in the Winter 2016 issue of LAFC, by Adrienne Borgersen

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There is a story I heard at a very young age that greatly influenced me.  Please excuse the traditional female roles and the reference to meat, it’s just how I heard the story 100 years ago…

A child asked their Mother, why they cut the ends off of a roast.  The Mother responds, “Because that’s how my mother made it”.  No one never thought to question it, but the Mother became curious and asked the Grandmother. The Grandmother responded, “Because I didn’t have a pot big enough to fit the roast.”  Obviously, the point is, that now there is no reason to do it that way and there is a better way. The moral of the story is to always ask questions.

I have always questioned everything. I asked “why” and when I got that answer, I asked “why” again. Likely, to the point of annoyance (sorry Mom & Dad).  And if I didn’t like the answer, I looked for another one. It’s a perpetual cycle. To this day, I believe it’s the most important trait anyone can have.

This year has been one of the most tumultuous, crazy, upside down turning years I can remember.  We’ve lost heroes, some celebrity, some personal, one after the other.  I can’t remember an election cycle that caused people to be so mean spirited and that created such divisiveness. Wars and natural disasters have escalated chaos everywhere.  It would be easy to say that I can’t wait for this year to be over, but what’s happening around us is far from over.

All I can be sure of is that time marches on.  The only constant in this life is that things will change.  And change isn’t always for the better.  All we can do is move forward.  To some things, we must acquiesce.  But that doesn’t mean we fold. That doesn’t mean we stop asking questions. That doesn’t mean we don’t continue to challenge ourselves as well as others. We need to make sure we are not stuck so far into our ideology that we don’t see things about ourselves that could be better or happier, with a change. We all must continue to evolve.

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Even those of us who feel we are on the “right side” of history, need to be open to constantly learn. Nothing is black & white. We must think critically and cognitively and be open to alternate views. Not listening, not having conversation, not engaging in intelligent debate will just strengthen the divide.

We have to find a way to come together. We seem to have lost trust, the foundation of any relationship. We are all jaded and angry and scared.  We have to wipe our tears, breathe away our rage and march forward towards a solution. We need clear heads and open minds.  The animals need us. The children need us.  We all need each other. That is what creates the resilience I know we all have. I don’t want to live in a world where it’s every person for themselves.  We are meant to be connected to each other.  That doesn’t mean we all have to agree, but we all deserve to live peacefully and together.

How do you connect with someone when they vehemently disagree with you? How do we bridge the divide? Let’s talk about it. COMMENT BELOW